The good and the bad: awards, accomplishments, mistreatment or abuse. It all has an impact. But there is another factor from childhood which has an equal or even greater effect than childhood events, like awards, mistreatment or abuse. Emotional Neglect is the white space in the family picture; the background rather than the foreground.
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Take the CEN Questionnaire During 20 years of practicing psychology, I started to notice that an amazing number of people are running on empty. I call it Emotional Neglect. First, I saw it in my psychology clients. Then, the circle widened, and I began to see it in the people all around me: at the grocery store, the mall, and even on reality TV shows. As I became aware of the full power and prevalence of Emotional Neglect, I felt compelled to drag it out of the darkness and into the light; to help people to see how it affects them, and to give them the tools to fix it.
It was the first book written about Emotional Neglect. And my biggest goal is to help the large number of people who are struggling in silence, wondering what is wrong with them. To give them answers, and the tools to fix their Emotional Neglect.
As someone who was never physically abused in childhood but who was definitely emotionally neglected, I was so relieved and comforted to know that a lot of what I struggle with is not my fault nor is it weakness. It is simply a result of not getting something which was needed as I was growing up. It is so much easier to help yourself when you know what is really wrong. Especially helpful is reading that many parents who Emotionally Neglect their children are not cruel or heartless but actually love their children and yet are unable to provide the emotional support necessary due to factors possibly from their own childhoods.
My self-esteem plummeted, despite doing very well in school. They were happy that I did well in school, and assumed everything else was fine. Reading this book has given me a framework for reworking my adult relationships with my wife and kids. I strongly recommend this book for anyone who has had experiences like mine and wants to overcome them. For years I have searched and searched for answers as to what is wrong with me.
When I started reading this book in the evening, I was so happy I wanted to jump up and down on my bed because someone finally knew me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!!! Every word resonated within me. I asked my therapist to read it so that we can work together in helping me to deal with overcoming my childhood emotional neglect. What a journey. Where do I start Where do I start.
Firstly, thanks for the insight into how I got to where I am today, emotionally speaking. I have spent years working on the symptoms of anxiety, depression, feeling inadequate, unassertive, lost and empty.
Why do I feel like this? Now I have an explanation that makes sense, and gives me a new angle from which to tackle my issues. I hope I can overlook the past and move forward into a happier future. I truly felt that there was something wrong with me but kept it to myself, it was my dark secret.
I found no answers until I read your book. It has brought me comfort and understanding. Thank you again. This book is really helpful for anyone who feels the same. The best bit is that the book not only describes examples of what might have created the emptiness but offers practical advice as to how to move forward.
I found your book and the light went on. Amazing, exciting, weird.
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