Michael Dukakis as himself uncredited Jason Schwartzman was originally slated to play the titular character, but could not due to a scheduling conflict. However, he could not figure out how to make the story work in such a setting and retained the original setting. The version included was released in , although the film is set in It was subsequently held back for almost a year for international release.

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Donnie Darko: School was cancelled. Gretchen Ross: Do you want to walk me home? Donnie Darko: Sure. Donnie Darko. You should check your backpack those guys love to steal shit. Gretchen Ross. Gretchen Ross: My parents got a divorce. My Mom had to get a restraining order against my step dad. He has emotional problems. Donnie Darko: Oh I have those too. What kind of emotional problems does your Dad have? Gretchen Ross: He stabbed my Mom four times in the chest. Donnie Darko: Oh.

Did he go to jail? Gretchen Ross: No, he fled. But my Mom and I had to change our names. Donnie Darko: I was in jail once. I mean I accidentally burned down this house. Then maybe people will understand me. Gretchen Ross: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? Gretchen Ross: Look, I should go. For physics, Monnitoff is having me write this essay. Greatest invention ever to benefit mankind. Like the whole sanitation thing. Joseph Lister, Before antiseptics, there was no sanitation, especially in medicine.

Gretchen Ross: You mean soap? Gretchen Ross: Why is that? Donnie Darko: Because you and I would have never had this conversation. Gretchen Ross: No, that was a compliment. Donnie Darko: Well, look, errr ….

Gretchen Ross: Sure. Hey, where are you going? Have you ever been hypnotized? Donnie Darko: No. Thurman: … and when I clap my hands twice, you will wake up. Do you understand? Donnie Darko: Yes. Thurman: So…. Donnie Darko: I met a girl. Thurman: What is her name? Donnie Darko: Gretchen. Thurman: Do you still think about girls a lot? Donnie Darko: Yeah. Thurman: How are things going at school? Donnie Darko: I think about girls a lot.

Thurman: I asked you about school, Donnie. I think about fucking a lot during school. Thurman: What else do you think about during school? Donnie Darko: Married with Children. Thurman: Do you think about your family? Donnie Darko: I just turn down the volume and think about fucking Christina Applegate.

Thurman: I asked you about your family, Donnie. Did you tell them that I flooded the school? They think I did it. You know what I think? I think you did it.

Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette. Ronald Fisher: Smurfette? Sean Smith: Mm-hmmm. Ronald Fisher: Not some, like, tight-ass Middlesex chick, you know? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys.

Like Smurfette does. Smurfette fucks all the other smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny. Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual. Ronald Fisher: Okay, well, you know what?

Then she fucks them while Vanity watches Okay? Sean Smith: What about Papa Smurf? He must get in on the action. Ronald Fisher: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang. Later on, he beats off to the tape. Gargamel did. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. Smurfs are asexual. Why do you gotta get so smart on us? Kitty Farmer: Excuse me! Excuse me! Please stay off the road, Miss Sparrow. If this happens again I am going to call Social Services.

Ronald Fisher: I hate that Miss Farmer. Kitty Farmer: Watch your step. Ronald Fisher: How old is Grandma Death? Donnie Darko: She does the same thing every day.

Just walks back and forth and back and forth to the mailbox. Nothing ever in there. Sean Smith: Oh, wait, wait, wait. She goes…. We may still have mail. Ronald Fisher: Mail, mail, mail. Sean Smith: Here it is.

Ronald Fisher: This could be it. No dice, Grandma. Sean Smith: No, sorry. Ronald Fisher: Someone ought to write that bitch.


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